On Adulting: How to ACTUALLY Live in the Moment

Ah, life *sighs*.

You probably have heard of the so-called “living in the moment” concept a couple of times before and you’re thinking: How exactly? In traditional terms, it’s called mindfulness, which is all about being in a state of open and intentional attention on the present; you become both an observer and an admirer of life as it happens in front of you, and you live each moment with pure gratitude.

Yes, this sounds beautiful and the idea is very promising, and don’t get me wrong—I’m ALL IN for the concept of it, you go live it up girl; but together with the need of having to focus on life’s little pleasures from time to time, it’s good to also have our eyes focused on reality, too. We have to be careful and be able to identify the difference between living in the moment (which is absolutely necessary for emotional growth and mental stability) and getting stuck in fictive ideals due to false comfort; let’s not get driven away by any sort of distraction to a tiny little world that is so far away from reality. Or else, we’ll lose both our path and eventually, ourselves.

Life is tricky, so let’s not make it harder than it already is.

Life is more difficult for those of us who keep denying the real world, we’ll never get it right if we keep shoving it out of our way. Life is more difficult for those of us who have decided to give up and stop learning. We can’t just choose to stop moving forward because a conflict came up and hit us square in the face. Nah, next time let’s hit it right back even stronger. Life is more difficult for those of us who keep postponing solutions to challenges thrown at us. Let’s not resort to temporary distractions, and remember to keep our heads in the game. When we start responding to reality as it confronts us, we learn to manage complications and problematic situations right away, making way for the good things we all want to live for.

Because you can’t run away from conflict, so might as well face it now before it builds up even more and turn into an actual burden.

Life isn’t meant to be easy. Nobody can have things go their way in a snap. We all go through some kind of process and from time to time, we are pushed down to the very pit of struggle—like, REAL BAD—and that is normal. Anyone who believes life is supposed to be just plain, smooth sailing is crazy, I’m sorry but seriously, we all get messed up at a certain point. But let me be honest on this one, facing conflicts as soon as they come is something I have been learning still to do, too. I think the one huge factor in failing to do the task is because of our overthinking. Instead of taking advantage of our time by quickly thinking of solutions to problems, we waste our energy overthinking and over analyzing the situation and coming up with negative outcomes we all make up in our minds.

The thing about resolving conflicts is you have to step out of the situation—detach yourself from the whole thing and look at it from an outside perspective.

Doing this will give you a clear mindset and a non-biased judgment on the situation, thus, helping you come up with the most logical and realistic solution. Imagine yourself as a stranger observing the circumstances and then think, and be honest (no matter how hard it is): How should one FIX this?

Next step? Say, screw this, then do it.

I’m serious, just go plunge into the solution right away without thinking twice. Literally attack it, dive into it, while detaching yourself from all emotions possible as you do it. Holding off will postpone a possible positive outcome (Don’t you want that? I mean—come on, FREEDOM!) and it’ll get you stuck in the conflict and it will not let go of you. And trust me, once you’re stuck, it equates to a great deal of anxiety you’re gonna have to bury in your chest FOR MONTHS, or even years.

Now, why am I writing about resolving conflicts when the title clearly says “living in the moment”? Because conflicts get in the way from us being happy, it stops us from appreciating things in life. When problematic situations are present, we see only the negative and never the positive. Thus, our outlook in life changes and once that shifts, living in the moment could get difficult.

So, if things have been a little complicated lately, do yourself a favor and fix it. Remember, I’m rooting for you!