Spoiler alert #1: It’s Valentine’s Day but I bet you already know that. As much as I want to put up a post related to the said commercial holiday, I am going to be real with you. I have absolutely no idea how it goes… well, not really totally clueless about it, I mean I’ve read enough stories about it but I’ve never actually gone to an official “Valentine’s Day” date; which leads me to spoiler alert #2: I’ve been single my entire life, but, there’s a BUT to that—but I’m completely okay with it. Believe me, there truly is an “art”, I guess you could say, in being completely at ease on your own, all by yourself.
If I had a penny every time I’m out at a cafe with a good book in my hand and a cup of tea in the other and someone asks me, “Are you good out there on your own?” Heck I’d be as rich as I want to be, probably even more, if I’m being honest here. The thing is, being alone, or being on your own, is nowadays often associated with not being okay—and mostly with loneliness. When you’re alone, you’re probably just lonely. When you’ve been single your entire life, it’s either people don’t believe you (You couldn’t have been entirely on your own all this time!) or they assume you’re just a sad, sad human being. Spoiler alert #3: Some people can be happily comfortable in moments they have no one but themselves. I admit I myself am one, and I know a couple of friends who are, too.
So, yes, we exist. We can actually survive on our own, surprise.
I think spending time on your own is underrated and most people (those that I know of, at least) aren’t used to the idea of actually staying in on a Friday and passing time reading a book, or doing whatever it is you enjoy… all on your own. When you do, you’re anti-social. You’re suddenly a nerd. I mean, don’t introverts already get enough stereotyping? But once you appreciate the concept of being “alone”, you’ll start seeing the beauty of independence in a sense that you don’t always need to be with someone to enjoy yourself.
For me, that would mean feeling comfortable enough to eat alone during lunch, which other people find such an anxiety-inducing activity, which I understand, but get this: take it one step at a time. It also means looking forward to spending some alone time at the mall. Or going to the park to take a walk all on your own.
Obviously, I am not antagonizing relationships or getting too comfortable with someone, whoever, and always wanting to be with them. THAT’S COMPLETELY FINE AND HEALTHY. I just think that while we love the idea of spending time with others, it’s also detrimental to our well-being to find comfort in our own selves. And, not to get all emo and dark but just a piece of reality here: it’s true that at the end of the day, all we really, really, really have is ourselves. So, might as well make it worthwhile and understand the importance of finding comfort in your own solitude.