I HAVEN’T LEFT THE HOUSE IN TWO WEEKS NOW AND IT’S PROBABLY THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
I’m an active person by nature. The idea of going out and hanging out with people is something I’ve always been interested in. I fancy the thought of participating into certain activities that involve meeting new people. Accomplishing tasks is something I look forward to because it’s simply satisfying. I love spending time outside with real people and real environment.
But admittedly, things have been going downhill lately and it just came to my realization that I have been staying in for almost two weeks now (except for when I have to buy food downstairs or have my occasional tea breaks at the café)—and honestly, it’s frustrating.
I am not here to elaborate on the events that have personally happened to me in the past months only because I do not feel like reminiscing on that. But let’s just say that specific event caused a major delay on my academic requirements and graduation, and also a conflict with regards to my residency at university. To sum this vague explanation up, whatever happened in the past months totally screwed me up and I guess I now barely have any idea on how I’m supposed to get back up on my feet and get myself back in the game.
It completely drained me, emotionally, and washed away my hopes of graduating on time that I lost the will and drive to keep pushing until I reach my academic goal—eventually sucking up whatever energy I have left to even get up and leave the house. And if I’m being honest, I’m not at all happy with how I turned out to be and I can hardly even recognize myself.
I am not pleased with this new version of myself—I’m bad-tempered, rude, irritable, slacking, complacent, and sluggish—I didn’t even notice these unhealthy traits developing in me, that’s how bad it is. I would watch TV, surf the net, binge on Netflix, and do other unnecessary activities for days that would silently distract me into thinking that everything is fine, when in fact, I’ve got more important things to do and goals to get to.
I’ve lost track of the events happening around me which resulted in me feeling like I’m running out of time—and 20 is such a young age to feel like you’re running out of time. I realized how distant I have been to my close friends and just how much I’ve been missing out in life.
If you’re ever feeling bad that you have classes to go to, or work you have to time in for, believe me when I say you’re lucky. You’re lucky to have a schedule and a concrete structure to follow through on a daily basis, you have a set of tasks to look forward to and to get busy on.
I know this isn’t so much of an original line, and you probably hear people say this all the time: Go out there. Don’t ever fall into the temptation of staying in for so long—it’s going to mess you up more than you can imagine. See the world. Life has so much more to offer once you get yourself out there. Walk your dog. Save your parents some precious time and do their groceries for them—but don’t forget to grab a chocolate bar for yourself before leaving the store. Go for a jog. Take a walk. Window shop. Just get moving and get yourself out there.